Thursday, December 4, 2014

30 / 31 / 32 Weeks

How far along.... 32 weeks tomorrow! Only 7 weeks left!!!!

How am I feeling.... Feeling good! ::knocks on wood:: this big belly and some swelling in my ankles are the only "symptoms" I really have. My body is being very kind to me.

How is baby doing.... Her movements are changing as she gets bigger - less jabs and more rolling. Most movements are right above my belly button and must be her knees/feet/legs. Sometimes they startle me they are so quick and strong. I imagine she will be a big baby like her brother. She seems happy in there so that's good.

Milestones, etc....
OB appointments are every two weeks now, so I go again tomorrow. I'm hoping my blood pressure stays down. This is the point it started creeping up last time and then I ended up with NST's at the hospital. Really hoping to avoid that this time! I realized on December 1st that we will have a baby NEXT month! Whoa!!! That is just crazy! It's so cliche and I say it all.the.time, but this flew by so freaking fast. We did our maternity/family photo shoot on Sunday and I'm absolutely in love with them. I love our photographer and I'm so grateful for the moments she captured. The photos mean a lot to me. I always had regret that I didn't do them with Grayson's pregnancy. I didn't even do newborn photos, so I made sure I booked both this time.

We went for a sunset shoot and ended up with a very rainy day. Pretty funny because we are in a serious drought and I swear it never, ever rains here in southern California. But it always rains on my photo shoot days! We had to reschedule last year's holiday photos too. They still turned out great and we left just as it started to pour again.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

28 / 29 Weeks

28 weeks, with my little man
A little comparison... 29 weeks with Grayson on the left and 29 weeks with baby sister on the right
3D/4D Ultrasound - so in love with that squishy face!!!!!

How far along.... 29 weeks and 4 days.

How am I feeling.... Great! ::knocks on wood:: I am definitely feeling bigger these days and regular tasks take a bit more effort, but I have no complaints! I really do love pregnancy in the second and third trimesters.

How is baby doing.... She is great too. She weighed approximately 3lbs 6oz at the growth scan at 28w5d. Big head and belly. Her overall measurements were in the 89th percentile. Very similar to Grayson. I seem to grow big babies, ha! Her organs and fluid levels looked great. She is still very active and I love watching my belly move all over. She's head down now too! YAY! So if I go into labor on my own by January 23rd, I can try for a VBAC. We did the 3D/4D ultrasound with our families last night and had so much fun seeing her. It made all of us very excited to meet her in January.

Milestones, etc.... 
Third trimester is a big one. I still cannot believe how fast this pregnancy is going. We're only 66 days away from her "eviction" date. We gave our infant seat to a friend, so we need to buy a new one and an extra base. Other than that, we only need a few little things: newborn diapers, new tubing for my pump and a new nursing cover. I need to wash her clothes and get my hospital bag ready, but otherwise there isn't much to do. We are ready!

Monday, November 3, 2014


My favorite holiday :) We had a lot of fun decorating this year and adding to our collection for the new house. The purple lights were the biggest hit for Grayson. Every night they were up, he would run outside and say "the purple lights are on!" We had a timer that turns them on when it was dark enough. I love watching the joy the holidays bring him.

We had a last minute costume "emergency", ha! I bought a dragon costume a month before. I actually bought the 4-6 size and then exchanged it for the 2-4. It fit him when I bought it, but he must have had a growth spurt because he was too tall for it! I felt so bad. I took him to school the day of Halloween for their trick-or-treat event, where they hand out stickers, tattoos, and other fun things. I ran to Target and had two options for costumes in his size - a monkey or a lion. I grabbed the lion and ran back to his school. It fit, yay! He also wore it for trick-or-treating in our neighborhood. He had a great time and I thought he was super duper cute in it, even as an unplanned costume.

Our pumpkins - Jack Skellington and Mickey Mouse! Mickey Mouse was not easy, but G loved it.
A quick video of my sweet boy :)

25 - 27 Weeks

26 weeks

How far along.... 27 weeks and 3 days. Time is flying!

How am I feeling.... I passed my glucose test, yay! I'm still feeling great. The heartburn is kicking in a bit. It started at 28 weeks last time, so I am not surprised. I am trying to eat small meals throughout the day so it doesn't flare up as bad. I am feeling extra big this week, as the belly is starting to get in the way for things like putting my shoes on and giving Grayson his bath. The weather has been amazing - 50's and 60's, yes please! I am so excited to end this pregnancy in the winter instead of the summer. My mood has been great. I am getting very excited for the holidays and then meeting baby girl in January.

How is baby doing.... She never seems to stop moving!!! She is an active girl. I was wrong on my last post - we will see her as we have an ultrasound next week to check on her growth and position. She seemed to be breech for a while, but I am suspecting she may have turned as her kicks seem much higher up now. For a while there she was kicking my bladder constantly.

Milestones, etc.... 
We scheduled my repeat c-section for January 23rd (39 weeks)! I'm still indecisive on the VBAC. I don't really have to decide unless I go into labor before that date. I am thinking I will try for it if I do. For now, no need to stress about it when I may not have any say in the decision anyways. We also scheduled our maternity family photo shoot for November 30th. Super excited for that.

Monday, October 13, 2014

20 - 24 Weeks!

20 weeks with my little man

23 weeks - pony ride in Oak Glen

How far along.... 24 weeks and 3 days

How am I feeling.... Wonderful! What a difference from the first trimester. We've been busy and I got behind on blogging. But I'm here now and things are going really well. I have my glucose test this Thursday and my next OB appointment on Friday. My appetite has been great. Sleep is good. I'm still doing CrossFit with the husband. Some days I am more exhausted in the evenings than others, but overall I feel good. I am super emotional, but that's to be expected. Any little thing can make me cry. I am really looking forward to a lot of things happening in the next several months: the holidays, a weekend trip to San Francisco, weddings, our maternity photo shoot.

How is baby doing.... She seems quite happy in there, moving all the time. She is so active, just like G was. I realized the other day that we probably won't see her again until she arrives in January. That seems crazy! We may do a 3D/4D ultrasound so we can get another peek before then.

Milestones, etc.... 
24 weeks (or 6 months) is a big milestone, so I'm thrilled to pass that. Things are normal and "boring" with this pregnancy right now and that's a very good thing! We are just so excited to meet her and we always talk about what she will look like and what kind of personality she will have. All fun stuff.

Friday, September 5, 2014

17 / 18 / 19 Weeks

17w4d - Overhead Lunges. These suck!

17w4d Post-workout


How far along.... 19 weeks! YAY!

How am I feeling.... Great! I love my workouts. They energize me and I feel stronger by the day. It's very empowering. I'm still nauseous off and on. My appetite is very particular, but I'm a thousand times better than before. I take my Zofran on an as needed basis and try to avoid it if I can because it gives me headaches and makes me a bit dizzy.

How is baby doing.... Also great :) We had our anatomy scan yesterday and everything looked good. She was measuring right on track and her anatomy looked normal. She's moving around a lot and I'm feeling her all the time. I was surprised when the tech told me I have an anterior placenta this time (opposite of last time) and that it will take longer and be harder to feel her - not the case for me at all! I've been feeling flutters since 15 weeks. I can't wait for G and Daddy to feel her too. We got a few pictures with a lot of poking and prodding.

Her profile

Yoga baby - her knee almost touching her nose

Milestones, etc....
Almost half way baked!!! Or exactly half-way if we decide to do the repeat c-section. I believe my OB schedules them at 39 weeks.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

16 Weeks and CrossFit

I had my second OB appointment on Friday at 16 weeks. Everything went well. All my blood work came back normal. She did ask about my weight gain, since I hadn't gained anything, but I reminded her that I lost at least 10 lbs when I was really sick. The anatomy scan is scheduled for September 4th. I am so excited to see her again!!

I am still on the Zofran, so that has been contributing to some serious constipation. Ugh. Sorry for the TMI, but it's been pretty bad. She told me to take the Colace daily and add some Miralax if I need it. I've also been eating lots of raisin bran and prune juice. Even with the Zofran, I have a hard time eating. I usually can figure my meals out, but a lot of things don't sit well. I've been eating a lot of berry/nut/feta salads and soup. Thankfully most of what I can eat is healthy, very unlike last time, ha! I am feeling her move, although it's very light and I wouldn't know it if I hadn't experienced it before. I can't wait for more movement - it's my absolute favorite part of pregnancy.

Once my IV was removed, I slowly started doing CrossFit with Nick again. I am scaling the weight and intensity, but I am really enjoying it. It feels good and my only goal is to continue it until I deliver. Even if it's scaled way back, I just want to stay active.


Friday, August 8, 2014

12 / 13 / 14 / 15 Weeks

Phew. What a crazy four weeks it has been. I graduated from the RE at 12 weeks, had my first OB appointment, got very, very sick and ended up in the emergency room dehydrated and throwing up, went home and had an IV placed for Zofran and hydration, and I'm now finally beginning to feel better. I removed my IV on Sunday, August 3rd and started the Zofran tablets instead. I've been okay so far so I am hoping that I am past that horrible experience for good. Fingers crossed.

How far along.... 15 weeks!

How am I feeling.... I'm pretty good. Still having some nausea on and off, and I don't really want to eat anything, but I'm so much better. I am just so relieved. I feel like I can finally enjoy that I am pregnant. I was so focused on not being sick and trying to eat that I couldn't focus on the fact that I am pregnant with this baby girl. The excitement was completely gone there for a while and that makes me sad. But it's back. I have a growing belly and I love it! I'm having a lot of round ligament pain from the stretching belly and still having mild headaches. On a positive note, I started some light CrossFit again. I haven't done anything physical in a very long time so I'm taking it slow and of course scaling the workout. I want to continue with it throughout the pregnancy, as long as my body allows me. It felt so good, so I'm looking forward to staying fit and strong.

How is baby doing.... She looked perfect at our NT scan, so that was wonderful. We didn't get any good pictures this time, but it was so fun to see her little hands waving and her legs crossed. The tech even took a peek to confirm our genetic testing and that she is in fact a girl. It feels like it's been so long since we've seen her. Those early ultrasounds at the RE sure spoiled me.

Milestones, etc....
I'm alive! Baby is alive! Honestly, that is all I care about at this point :)

Friday, July 25, 2014

Hyperemesis Gravidarum

So yeah. If you haven't noticed, I've been missing from blogging. No 12 or 13 week updates. I've been so, so, so sick.

I've had a rough first trimester as it is, but last Saturday things got really bad. I threw up a few times that day and I felt awful, so I stopped eating altogether. It was just so bad that I couldn't find one thing I tolerated. Sunday was the same and even worse in the evening. I went to my primary care doctor on Monday because I had a really bad sore throat and headache and wanted to rule out strep. I noticed that when she weighed me before the appointment, I had lost 10 lbs since my OB appointment. Tuesday was even worse. I couldn't even keep water down and my head was throbbing so I called Nick and he took me to the ER. I spent six hours there, getting IV fluids, Zofran and Tylenol.

The next day I called my OB and they decided to set up a home health visit to have a nurse come to my house and give me an IV so I could be hydrated and medicated at home. The regular dissolvable Zofran wasn't working. The nurse came super late on Wednesday and at that point I hadn't eaten in 5 days, my urine had keotones from dehydration and I thought I was going to die. Thursday morning was better after a night of fluids. Still feeling nauseous and had no appetite, but I started eating jello and lemon fruit popsicles. And drinking some water!!!! I even made it to the NT scan and baby girl looked perfect, thank goodness. My biggest fear was the impact all of this may have on her.

Today is Friday and I ate some bread without wanting to vomit! Yay! I have my last bag of fluids tonight (crazy, but there is a national shortage of fluids! I almost couldn't get them) and I've been on the IV Zofran every six hours regularly. The combo seems to be helping. I haven't been at work all week, so I'm hoping to be back on Monday.

Poor Grayson has had a difficult time. He is used to me doing the bedtime routine and taking and picking him up from school. I felt terrible as Nick had to do everything for a few days there, when even moving made me sick. But he did great and Grayson survived.

I'm hoping I've turned a corner, but I just don't know yet. Will this last the entire pregnancy or will it get better as I move into the second trimester? No one knows. I don't know how long I will have my IV in or how I'll know when I'm better unless I try and stop the meds. That terrifies me. What I do know is this has been the week from hell and I wouldn't wish this upon anyone. It's been really hard.


Friday, July 11, 2014

11 Weeks

How far along.... I cannot believe I'm 11 weeks already!! So crazy. Only one more ultrasound with my RE and I graduate.

How am I feeling.... Nauseous - all day, every day. It's still a mix of good and bad days. Nothing sounds good. My safe foods are french fries, carne asada, cheese, raw baby carrots, fruit popsicles, frosted mini wheats cereal, and peanut butter and honey sandwiches. Physically I am very tired and just feeling crappy overall. I'm hoping that I start feeling better in the next few weeks. It's been really hard. And it takes a toll on me emotionally. I'm trying to hang in there and keep a smile on my face. I know it's only temporary and I don't want to wish away this time because it's likely my last pregnancy. I still remember how much I missed it last time.

How is baby doing.... Wonderful. She measured at 11w2d {45 mm} She was sleeping at today's scan. Hearing her heartbeat always puts a big smile on my face.

Milestones, etc....
 No more PIO shots or estrogen!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!! So thrilled about that. I have my first OB appointment on Monday and will schedule my NT scan then.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

9/10 Weeks

How far along.... 9 weeks, 6 days. With our camping trip last weekend and then the holiday this weekend, I haven't had a chance to blog so these two weeks are combined.

How am I feeling.... Nauseous - all day, every day. Food is awful. I am craving nothing. The things I end up eating are usually soup, cereal, smoothies, bagel breakfast sandwiches and carne asada. I usually just force the food in and I do okay. Some day I am right on the edge of throwing up. The ginger candies I bought do help. Oh, and diet Coke. I don't normally drink soda, but it really helps. The heartburn and indigestion started way earlier this time, so that's fun. My belly has grown a bit already, but I also have a lot of extra weight from the four IUI's and IVF. My emotions are all over the place still, but today's 10 week ultrasound absolutely made my week, so I am on cloud nine right now :)

How is baby doing.... Everything continues to look great. She measured about a day ahead today and she was moving all over the place and waving her tiny arms!!!! We heard her heartbeat again - such a beautiful sound. I am so in love already!

Milestones, etc.... My Mom and I went shopping the weekend before last and got some clothes for baby girl. I get all giddy when I look at them and realize we will have a little girl in our arms next year. So crazy!! Two more weeks and I'm done with the estrogen and PIO, yay!!!!

Monday, June 23, 2014


Wow. I can't believe how different two pregnancies can be. I never felt this awful with Grayson's pregnancy. I am having a very hard time. The nausea and headaches are killing me. Nick is out of town for work and we are supposed to be camping at the end of this week for my birthday. UGH. I love camping, but not when I want to throw up all day. I would cancel the camping, but now we have three friends coming who each took two days off of work for it. I feel bad so I am going to try to be a trooper. Again, I absolutely hate to complain about pregnancy stuff, but this is just the reality. It sucks to feel so sick no matter what it took to get here. Of course I am thankful to be pregnant. Every day, I am thankful. I sure hope this goes away soon. Until then, it's Diet Coke and ginger candies. Literally nothing sounds good to eat. All meals are forced.

Friday, June 20, 2014

8 Weeks

How far along.... 8 weeks.

How am I feeling.... Pukey. Is that a word? I am more than thankful to be pregnant, but it's been a tough week. I couldn't keep anything down on Tuesday, not even water, until about 2 pm when I ate a piece of toast with peanut butter. I have to force myself to eat because nothing sounds good and an empty stomach just makes the nausea worse. Still having a few headaches a week, feeling sleepy in the evenings and my emotions are all over the place. I was very excited for today's ultrasound. It gave me something to look forward to all week while I was trying to ignore the nausea.

How is baby doing.... Wonderful! She is growing and measured a day ahead {17 mm} at today's ultrasound. We caught a few glimpses of her arm and leg buds, and saw her little heart beating away.

Milestones, etc.... No real milestones this week, except Nick was so excited that he posted our ultrasound picture on IG and FB :) The "secret" is out of the bag.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

7 Weeks

How far along.... 6w6d. My ultrasound was moved up a day, so technically I'm 7 weeks tomorrow.

How am I feeling.... Starving, must-eat-now, hungry one minute to "I'm going to puke" the next, ha! I never know what I can eat until moments before. My bagel with cream cheese really helped the nausea this morning. I'm getting very tired in the evenings. And my newest symptom, that freaked me out and made me think I was losing the baby, is a lot of stomach/small intestine pressure. I would just say "gas" but it's not always there to relieve it. It's really hurting me and it doesn't seem to matter what I eat. I'm not constipated, but since the constipation supplements are on my approved meds list, I may try one to see if it helps.

How is baby doing.... We were able to see and hear her heartbeat today!!!!! Best moment so far and really put us at ease. She measured right at 7 weeks, or 10 mm. It's so crazy that we start off so teeny tiny.

Milestones.... Seeing the heartbeat!

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Our Little Man

My posts have been all about IVF and this new pregnancy lately. I thought it was about time that my G gets a post. Nick and I feel so lucky to be his parents. He is the best. And he's turning two next month!!!!!! I can't believe it.

His language has exploded! He tries every word we ask him and does a pretty good job. He even sings me songs and gets some of the words in there.

He loves to dance. He loves to be outside. We have been taking a walk around the neighborhood almost every evening. Besides some weekend morning cartoons and his train set, he is outside or in the garage with Dad every day. He really enjoys the water and we've had great weather for swimming in our pool - he kicks his feet, holds his breath, goes under on his own, floats on his back, holds onto the edge of the pool, jumps in on his own and his newest skill - going underwater to get the pool rings off the bottom of our shallow area and bringing them back up! Momma was so impressed! He loves his Strider bike and practices riding 3 or 4 days a week.

He cracks us up every day. My favorite thing he does is jump. He gets both feet off the ground, but it's just an inch or so. He is so proud and I think it's the absolute cutest thing I have ever seen. He has his "toddler" moments, but he is also recovering faster from these melt downs. He is doing very well at school. He is still working on using his words instead of hitting/biting.

My life will never be the same again with him in it. He gives me SO MUCH joy and meaning. I can never get enough of our little man.


Friday, June 6, 2014

6 weeks

How far along.... 6 weeks. I was off on my calculations. Baby girl is due January 30th.

How am I feeling.... I am very hungry first thing in the morning and pretty much eat constantly all day. The nausea has kicked in and I'm still having headaches here and there. I'm so excited that our little girl is growing and I've felt much less worried this past week.

How is baby doing.... Growing! We are looking forward to seeing the heartbeat next week.

Milestones.... Ummm, making it to 6 weeks?! Does that count?

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Trucking Along

It's always weird in early pregnancy after Infertility. It doesn't feel real. I keep waiting for my period to start. I keep waiting for bad news. I am having some pretty bad headaches that are making me sick, so it especially feels wrong. I had no bad headaches or migraines with Grayson's pregnancy, one of the perks I was looking forward to. Obviously, every pregnancy is different. While none of my thoughts are logical, I can't seem to help it. 

Every once in a while I feel excited to be pregnant again and remind myself "today, I am pregnant" so it's not all negative thoughts. We've told G that there is a baby in Mommy's belly and she's growing, so he points to my belly all the time and says "baby!" It's so sweet. He points out babies anytime he sees one or even a picture of one. I can't wait for him to meet her in 9 months. I may or may not have bought a few things for her already :) There isn't much to buy, except clothes and maybe a few things for her room. Oh my goodness, could I get carried away with all of the adorable girl stuff!!!

I am looking forward to Friday's ultrasound. We will have one every Friday until we graduate at 12 weeks. I'm still counting down the days until I'm done with the PIO and Estradiol... only 5 1/2 weeks, ha!


Friday, May 30, 2014

5 week ultrasound

We saw the gestational sac, just like with G's pregnancy. It's not a very exciting ultrasound. It lasted about .5 seconds, but it was good to see what we wanted and expected to see at this point.

How far along.... 4 weeks, 6 days

How am I feeling.... I am feeling very different from last time. Mornings are good, but as the day goes on, I start to feel pretty crappy. Headaches and achy. And just yesterday, having some nausea after eating. I am very excited and happy though. Each time we get good news, I breathe a little easier. It's still so crazy to me that we know baby is a girl. I am always saying "she" and it kinda trips me out!

How is baby doing.... Well, she is teeny tiny, so not a lot to report. My hope is that she is here for the long haul and getting comfy :)

Milestones.... First ultrasound! We also shared the news with our families and close friends. We were very open on IG and FB with this whole process, but we aren't sure when we will share this news with the "whole world" yet. Maybe after we see the heartbeat? Still deciding.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Beta #3

854! Another sigh of relief. We have our first ultrasound on Friday. With G's pregnancy, we only saw the gestational sac at 5 weeks {technically 4w6d}. But it's something and we are so excited!!!

We love this baby girl so much already.


Sunday, May 25, 2014

Beta #2

Beta #2 was today: 327. Sigh of relief! The second one always scares me the most.

I was a nervous wreck for the entire week up until my first beta. I had one symptom, the one that made me test, that was the same as last time: very sore boobs. But I felt off this time. I was having headaches, even a really bad one Friday that was on the verge of a migraine. I was achy and just blah. I definitely didn't have that with G's pregnancy, at least that I can remember. So even though headaches are normal with pregnancy, I was freaking out.

The headaches seem to come and go now, I have some mild cramps every now and then, and I'm definitely exhausted and hungry. I'm feeling a little more confident each day that passes. I am also trying to remember to enjoy every bit of every day. This is likely our last pregnancy and I remember how much I missed being pregnant last time.

Thank you all for your comments, emails, and messages. It means a lot to us. 

Happy Memorial Day!


Saturday, May 24, 2014


I started testing at 5dp6dt, when the symptoms really started to kick in, and got a negative on my cheapie test and the digital Clear Blue Easy test. I was crushed. I decided to try my FRER test and saw a faint line! I continued testing and the line has darkened each day. Today was beta #1 and it came in at 123. It really worked!!! Our little girl made it! We are beyond happy, and just like with G's pregnancy, it's going to take a while to really sink in. I am completely in shock.

I go back Monday and Wednesday for repeat betas, and then the first ultrasound will be Friday if my beta gets over 1,000 by then. My RE does very early ultrasounds. 


Friday, May 16, 2014


Today is two days past a 6 day embryo transfer, for those unfamiliar with that acronym ;) That's about 8 days post ovulation with a regular cycle. 

It's my last day of bed rest, WOOHOO!!!!! I go crazy just sitting around. I typically go, go, go so these past three days have been tough. But I made it and I hope it helped our embryo implant. 

It's been a super hot week, in the high 90's and 100's, so I've been sitting in the air, working and watching movies. And missing my little man so much. He cries for me and it breaks my heart. Nick has been wonderful and helping out so much. I am so thankful for him, for my parents for being so encouraging and positive and my Dad bringing me lunch, and for my sister and friends checking in on me every day to see how I'm doing. I just feel so loved and so lucky. I can't thank everyone enough.

My mind messes with me constantly. I start daydreaming about being pregnant again and then I get very emotional thinking that this isn't going to work. I'm not reading into any symptoms or feelings because I know they will just mess with me more. 

Only time will tell.


Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Here she is!

Our transfer went perfectly! Dr. A was so happy with my lining, so that put a smile on my face and gave me some hope. At least my body was doing something right!

The embryologist met with us first and went over everything. She gave us a picture of our embryo and explained that it was taken just after the thaw this morning so it looked a bit collapsed and likely didn't look like that at transfer time. She was frozen on day 6 and graded a 6BB once thawed. Here is a good explanation on grading embryos. She is a hatched blastocyst, which is great. The craziest thing was seeing that the other three embryos that had PGS done were all graded higher than our normal embryo, at least at the time they were frozen on days 5 and 6. So if we had not done genetic testing, they would have selected those based on embryo appearance and transferred the abnormal ones. We would have gone through several failed transfers if we had not done PGS - oh, how thankful I am that we did it! It was worth every penny.

I have heard of others taking Valium for the transfer so I was a little nervous, but it was the easiest part of anything we have done so far. I didn't even need a full bladder like I had heard about. It was less uncomfortable than my IUI's. I laid down for about 30 minutes afterwards and now I'm home on bed rest for 3 days, working off my laptop. And by bed rest, he just asked that I sit or lay in bed or on the couch except to go to the bathroom. He takes these first three days very seriously and I am too. After that, I am supposed to be pretty sedentary for another 3 or 4 days so taking it nice and easy. Poor Nick has his hands full with Grayson and me. And I'm going crazy. I hate just sitting here, unable to help with everything. I don't do bed rest well, but I know this time is well worth it.

Now we wait. ::big sigh:: I am so nervous. I am not sure that I can wait until beta day so I'll probably take a test before that. Please snuggle in, little one!!! We love you!

I am overwhelmed by everyone rooting for us. The texts, emails, phone calls, comments... all of it helps so much. It takes away some of the loneliness of Infertility. I am just so thankful for our amazing family and friends.


Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Shots Shots Shots


Boy, these progesterone shots are serious business! The actual shot is easy, and my husband does a wonderful job. It's the bruising and lumps each one leaves. And thinking of how much longer these may go on! It can be overwhelming. Nick told me it feels like he goes to sleep and wakes up giving me shots. Yep, you are honey :) I've only ever used Progesterone suppositories so this is all new to me. It's just another piece to the puzzle and something I have to do. I am looking forward to working from home on my three days of bed rest because I can plug my heating pad in and sit on it all day. 

Then add in all the pills. I can't even keep track of them, ha! I am going to buy a pill organizer today so I don't forget anything. Today I added in antibiotics and another steroid, Medrol, for the next four days. Let's see, that's a total of 10 pills to take today, not counting my prenatals.

Of course this is all worth it because it's preparing the best environment for our little embryo. I am so, so anxious for tomorrow. I wish I could just fast forward and know how this is going to turn out. Nick is off work tomorrow so we are going to breakfast and then the transfer. I'll be working from home the next three days and staying sedentary through the weekend. Beta is scheduled for May 24th.


Friday, May 9, 2014

Transfer is scheduled

I had another ultrasound and blood draw this morning. My lining looked perfect at 10.4 mm, so our transfer is scheduled for May 14th. My nurse gave me my first progesterone shot at the office and marked big circles on both sides of my butt/hip for Nick to continue them. I'm on 1cc of Progesterone in Oil twice a day, and if I am pregnant, I'll continue them until 11 weeks. Yeah, that's a lot of shots!

My Estrace dose is lowered to two pills twice a day, and those will also continue through the first trimester if I am pregnant. Same with the baby aspirin and of course my prenatal vitamins. On Tuesday, I will start antibiotics, a Z Pack this time, and Medrol, both for four days. Tuesday will also be my last day of the Dexamethasone.

Phew. So many medications to keep track of. I will be on bed rest the 14th, 15th and 16th, and then taking it easy that weekend. My beta is scheduled for May 24th. I doubt I have the patience to wait for the beta, so I'm sure I will test before then. I just don't know when yet.

I appreciate all of the thoughts and love. I know we will need them. I hope our little girl decides to stick around because we already love her so much.


Monday, May 5, 2014


I started my period on April 24th and then started the medications for our FET on the 25th. I've been on 1 mg Estrace two tablets twice daily, 0.5 mg Dexamethasone once a day and 81 mg baby Aspirin once a day since then. Today I went in for an ultrasound and my lining is looking good at 7.2 mm. I added a third dosage of Estrace and I go back on Friday for another ultrasound. My nurse thinks I might be ready then to start the Progesterone - twice a day intramuscular injections, fun! - and transfer Wednesday, May 14th.

I am only feeling one thing right now: terrified. I am so, so afraid of this not working. And then trying to figure out what to do at that point. I know I need to focus on this working instead, but it's hard. I'll keep trying.



Wow. What an amazing trip. It was perfect timing too - some much needed "therapy" for me. We just got back from a week on the big island. My Mom rented a house on the beach for all of us, 10 in total. Our family of three, my parents, my sister and her fiance, and my Aunt and her two kids. It was perfect. Relaxing, fun, together. Beach days, zip lining, Malasadas, Volcanoes National Park, Black Sand Beach and a serious hike to Green Sand Beach. Frisbee on the sand, BBQing dinner together, s'mores and beautiful sunsets. I am missing the family time so much today. I am already thinking of our next get together. I am definitely a family person, who craves the time I have with them.

I couldn't keep this little man out of the water!!!


Wednesday, April 23, 2014


I can't believe it and it still hasn't sunk in. From 19 to 4 to 1. Of the four embryos, only one was genetically normal. Dr. A called me today while I was shopping with my Mom. I was hoping it was him, as Nick and I have been anxiously awaiting this call. My heart sank. Dr. A said he was surprised we only had one. I told him I was too.

He asked if I wanted to know the gender and I said yes, we do. He said it's a girl. I actually smiled when I heard that. A tiny bit of joy in our heartbreak. Please be a feisty girl who is strong and hangs on. We want you to stick around!

I'm waiting for my period to start our FET, but it may be pushed to the following cycle as we are going on vacation next week.

We have one shot. That is the most terrifying thought. Can I do this again? Will that even make a difference in the outcome? I am trying to not think beyond this right now. We will think about that and make those decisions if and when that time comes. Not now. It's too much to handle right now.


Saturday, April 19, 2014


I was anxiously awaiting Dr. A's phone call today with our final number of embryos. It was nearly 3pm and what happens? I walk away from my phone for a second and miss his call. Sigh. 

I quickly listened to the voicemail and he said that four embryos were biopsied and frozen. I was disappointed and a bit surprised. I was hoping for more. I called their office because I wanted to chat with him and they were able to connect me. I felt bad for dialing as "an urgent call" but this call was a big deal for me. I confirmed it was four and that no others made it. I also asked about grading the embryos and he said he doesn't really do that. He waits to see the PGS results and goes from there. We should have those back in 3 to 4 days.

I'll admit, I started crying the moment I hung up. Maybe four is fine. But I was upset and sad for those that didn't make it. I felt our odds continue to drop. For now, we are hoping we have some genetically normal embryos to work with. More waiting for another very important call.

Happy Easter. 


Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Day Three

Dr. A called me this morning with an update on our embryos. Today we have:

Three with 4 cells
Two with 5 cells
Five with 7 cells
Four with 8 cells

This is what an 8 cell embryo looks like:

He said they like to see 6 to 10 cells on day three. That makes me feel somewhat confident in the nine we have at the 7 and 8 cell stage. Fingers crossed that they keep dividing and look good on Friday/Saturday. My clinic waits until day five or six to biopsy and freeze, so I will get a final update on Saturday. We then wait 5 to 6 days for the genetics lab to send results on how many embryos are normal. Waiting, waiting and more waiting. I am getting VERY good at it.

I am feeling much better. Still taking the Cabergoline every night. Still bloated and slightly sore, but oh so happy to be myself again and spending time with my little man. I've been soaking him up every day. He is so happy and giggly, it puts me in the best mood. We are spending a lot of time in our back yard lately. I chase him around and tickle him, he helps me water our new vegetable garden, he brushes Apollo and even runs through the sprinklers. So much joy. The weather has been so great. He went through a little phase of hitting/biting at school, but he is doing so much better now. His language has exploded. He repeats almost everything we say or gives it a really good try. This is a really, really fun age!


Monday, April 14, 2014

Fertilization Report

Of the 19 eggs retrieved, 16 of them were mature and could be fertilized with ICSI. 13 fertilized and 2 are maybe's that they are watching. My doctor said he will call again on Wednesday with the next update. 

Today is the first day I feel like myself after what seems like forever. I stayed home from work and laid around on the couch all day to really give myself time to heal. I am still a bit sore and bloated, but getting better. I am also going to try the Cabergoline pill again tonight and hope it wasn't what made me deathly ill on Saturday. My doctor really wants me to be on it if possible, to avoid OHSS.

Today is also the first time I have been able to see past all the meds, shots, numbers, appointments, the surgery, the worries, all of this tough stuff and actually get a little excited about being pregnant again. I haven't been able to do that at all. I've actually been in quite a slump. So that's good. Plus our big family trip to Hawaii is coming up and it's just perfect timing for me.

I'm hoping the good news continues this week for our embryos. Keep growing, little embies!


Sunday, April 13, 2014


We got 19 eggs. I am having some pain and discomfort right now so trying to stay comfortable. No nausea right now, so that's good. I hope it stays that way because....

Unfortunately I had a day of hell on Saturday. Good grief, what a nightmare. I took my first dose of antibiotics Saturday morning with breakfast. I started to get nauseous and it progressively got worse and worse. By 2:30, I began throwing up and that didn't stop until 9pm. It was awful, awful, awful. I had nothing to throw up halfway through so it was even worse. I was definitely feeling a huge amount of regret over my choice to do IVF. It's been a lot harder on me physically than I expected.

I am thankful that the retrieval is over and that we got 19 eggs, but I could never ever go through this again.

I hope the rest of this process is kinder on me. 


Saturday, April 12, 2014


That was my estrogen number yesterday.  It got way up there, which I hope means we get lots of eggs tomorrow. 

I started Cabergoline last night. It's a once a day pill that helps with the bloat. I just wish it helped with the nausea too. Ugh. It's been horrible these past three days. I feel hungry one minute and then I am gagging from the nausea the next. It seems like dealing with these things while parenting a toddler is especially challenging. 

I went in for my pre-op blood work and appointment this morning. They had me start antibiotics today that I'll take for three days and went over the surgery process. We will arrive tomorrow at 8:15am, drop off Nick's sample and head downstairs to the surgery center. The procedure is about 30 minutes under a light anesthesia and I go home within an hour or two. 

I'll update tomorrow as soon as I feel well enough.

Thank you for all the well wishes. xo

Friday, April 11, 2014

Egg Retrieval is scheduled

Hallelujah. I trigger tonight at 10:30 pm and go in on Sunday for a 9:30 am retrieval.

I am excited and nervous and scared.

IVF Monitoring Appointment #6

I feel so much better in the mornings, but last night I was not a happy camper. I figured out that, even if I feel starving, I cannot each much or I get very nauseous. There is just no room left in my belly for anything. This morning's ultrasound showed my ovaries touching, and they measured 22 follicles...

Right side: 11 follicles - 16, 18, 20, 20, 23, 25, 27, 28, 29, 30, 34
Left side: 11 follicles - 20, 21, 22, 22, 24, 25, 26, 30, 32, 33, 36

I'm waiting, as usual, for the call this afternoon with my E2 level and to find out if I will trigger tonight for a Sunday retrieval. 


Thursday, April 10, 2014

I am shocked!

I thought for sure I would be triggering tonight, but I'm not. My nurse called and said Dr. A wants me to go another day. I think he is trying to kill me, ha! Tonight I will do 150iu Follistim again with the same Menopur and Lupron. My estrogen was 3,567 today.

The good part of this delay is that I can make it to my friend's sons' first birthday party on Saturday! Yay!

I am just sooooo uncomfortable.

IVF Monitoring Appointment #5

I had to take a picture today. That's a still shot of follicles on both of my ovaries. There are a lot more follicles you cannot see in this view, but you get the idea.

I didn't even keep track of the measurements today. There were a bunch and they were all squished in there. I am really uncomfortable now. They drew my blood and will call me this afternoon with those results. That's when I will find out if I trigger tonight for a Saturday retrieval or if I trigger tomorrow night for a Sunday retrieval. I go back regardless tomorrow for blood work; either pre-op b/w or another ultrasound and E2 check.

We are almost there. The fear of the retrieval is shadowed by the great desire I have to get these eggs out!!! I think that's a good thing for my anxiety. My Mom will be on Grayson duty and Nick is going with me to the surgery. Everyone is ready :)

I'll update later when my RE calls.