Sunday, October 3, 2010

I hate my body

Ugh. I hate this topic. But I need to talk about it.

I have always weighed around 155 lbs at 5'9". Healthy and fairly lean for my height. But the last two to three years, I have been slowly (although right now it seems quickly) gaining weight. I believe it is partially because my metabolism is slowing down, partially because I have slowed down on the exercise and mostly because I love food so much. I have no problem eating lean chicken, veggies & rice, but chicken fettucine alfredo at our favorite Italian place sounds so much better! I am up to 180 lbs now. Sigh.

So basically my weight problem is more of a will power problem. I have to tell myself every morning what I am going to eat all day. And I have to constantly remind myself how much I hate the way my body looks every time I prepare or order a meal. It's tough. I also need to get my exercise routine more stable. MH and I ride our bikes and we have a treadmill & P90X.

Now that we are trying to have a baby, it makes the weight loss issue even more complicated. I want to be pregnant and I want to lose weight. But those two things don't really go hand in hand. I guess that is the one positive to a failed cycle... I have more time to try and lose weight. I guess if I get pregnant, I will focus on a plan for after the baby is born so that I can get back down to my 155 lbs.

In the meantime, I am off to do P90X and eat a healthy lunch :)

"I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge." Paula Poundstone

Mrs. B

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