Music Friday - Andy Grammer

Keep Your Head Up by Andy Grammer

I can tell she is coming

I always know when Aunt Flow is around the corner because I get very emotional and sad. {I also know because I took a test today at 14dpo. BFFN} I sent myself into an anxiety attack that Mr. B and I will never have biological children. I know that thought is completely irrational at this point, but the feelings are overwhelming me right now. Stupid, stupid hormones. It's amazing how they can take over your brain. I hate feeling like this.

On a more positive note, we are taking my new bike out on the trails tonight for her first ride!!! And I have a much needed five day weekend for the 4th of July! YAY!

"Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen.  Keep in the sunlight." Benjamin Franklin

xoxo,

Mrs. B

Twenty Eight

I can't believe I turned 28 today! Ahhhhh!

My family and friends are always so good to me on my birthday. I love spending time with them all as much as I can. I was almost in tears at all the love I received. Last week, we had a birthday lunch with all of my co-workers at my favorite burger place, Fuddruckers. Two of my co-workers gave me gifts early; bike stuff and a massage gift card. And a super cute horsey card!

Last night, my Mom, Dad, sister, her boyfriend and Mr. B took me out to dinner at Lucille's BBQ. My parents gave me tickets for all six of us to go to the Del Mar horse races in August {box seats!} and dinner at a seafood place with an ocean view. Then a hotel room for Nick and I to stay the night down there. I am so excited :) My sister got me the gorgeous white Guess watch I have been wanting since Christmas! EEEE! I love it!

making a wish :)

the Mr and I

Today I walked into work and my sweet friends had set up a milkshake bar with a "happy birthday" sign. Two different kinds of ice cream, milk, three different kinds of cookies, Reese's, whipped cream and a really nice blender! Even fancy straws. They know me so well <3

Tonight I celebrated with Mr. B and his Dad. We went to dinner at Claim Jumper. My in-laws gave me a gift card to Target, my favorite place to shop. My wonderful husband is so good to me. He bought us a mountain biking trip for this weekend and a spiffy bike light for night riding. And the best gift of all... a new bike!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEE!!!!! I am in love :)

Isn't she pretty?!

 

 "Birthdays are good for you.  Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." Larry Lorenzoni

xoxo,

Mrs. B

We have a plan!

And what a relief that is!!! I will keep this short and sweet.

We loved the RE and his office staff. He agreed that all of our testing is normal. He did his own ultrasound and said everything looked normal. He suggested we start with Clomid + IUI, and to try up to three before moving on to more aggressive treatment. We start next cycle in July! We are so hopeful and excited!

I can't wait to share this news with our families this week. Tuesday is my birthday so it's perfect timing to talk to them all in person. I know how much they are rooting for us.

Thank you to all of my readers for following along on this journey <3

xoxo,
Mrs. B

My Dad

My Dad is one-of-a-kind! He put up with my stubborn ass all through the crappy teen years. He taught me how to make others around me laugh. He also taught me how to curse like a sailor :) He was always there for my sister and I when my Mom was traveling for work. He cooks some seriously delicious chicken tacos! Oh, and the most important thing he taught me: ice cream is amazing LOL! I think he started sharing his with me at age two ;)

I love you, Dad <3

Walking me down the aisle.

This picture sums up my Dad pretty well...

I hope that Mr. B can celebrate his first Father's Day next year. I know he is going to be a wonderful Dad.

xoxo,
Mrs. B

I miss you so much, Grandpa

I can't believe it's been one year already. On June 17th, 2010, my Grandpa {on my Mom's side} unexpectedly passed away from cancer. It was the hardest day of my life. It was made worse because my sister and I were supposed to go visit him in the hospital that weekend and he died before we could get there. She and I will always be bothered by that. There were things we wanted to say to him. Things we wanted to promise him. Things we wanted to thank him for. We should have called, but we didn't know. None of us knew how bad it was. I try to take comfort that we saw him a week and a half prior, when he was doing well and we were clueless to how bad things had gotten. And that he made it to our wedding and hosted our Shoe Game {thank you Rachel for catching that on camera for us. We will be forever grateful!}

I am sad that my future children won't ever get to meet him. I will make sure they know everything about him. He taught me many things, mostly significantly to appreciate wildlife and nature. And of course how to give a real hug! I will never forget his squeeze :) He made the world a better place while he was here, and I am so proud to call him my Grandpa.

 Back in 1993, with all the kids, in Baja. What an amazing memory.

 This is how I always think of him. Smiling happily, enjoying nature.

My Grammie wrote a poem for his obituary. He was an amazing poet himself, so I know he would have loved it.

TOO SOON

For Jim, June 17, 2010

Dawn was his favorite time.

Young  geese spread out across the sky.

Watching in awe, he’d whisper,

It’s not their time to die.

Strong arms around me,

faint warmth giving.

He held me close.

Too soon to be done with living.

RE appointment is scheduled!

I called my OB's office today to check on my referral and see if they had received my ultrasound results. Notice I said that I called them? Annoying. My ultrasound arrived to them on Tuesday, the same day I had it done, but the doctor has been out all week. So I am just waiting on him now.

The RE referral was approved for a doctor in my network two days ago. Thanks for letting me know ::sigh:: When I searched, there were no RE's in-network {hey provider, update your systems!} I checked this doctor's website and his reviews online, and he checked out okay. I called and they had an appointment available June 24th at one of their two office locations. The Mr. and I took that day off of work in case we decided to go out of town for my birthday, so he is going with me. Perfect! We will have a consult, physical and ultrasound, and hopefully decide on a plan.

My referral shows my Infertility coverage, or lack thereof, as: 50% copay for hospital services, injectables/treatment, labs, office visits & surgical treatment. Not covered - IUI, IVF, GIFT and ZIFT. For example, the first consult appointment will be a $100 co-pay. I can see these costs adding up quickly. We sold our spare car today and are saving that money for fertility treatments. Thank you, Honda Civic. You will be missed, but your sacrifice is greatly appreciated :)

There has been lots of pregnancy announcements on the T-TTC board. I am so, so happy for all of them! It makes my day to read those posts. Most of the time I truly feel like I will never get pregnant, but seeing their success brings me so much hope.

When the world says, "Give up," Hope whispers, "Try it one more time." Author Unknown

xoxo,
Mrs. B

Another Random Wednesday post :)

We are busy people these days! We have lots coming up on our schedule.

First is a mini-vacation for next weekend, to celebrate my birthday. I am going to be 28 this year. Ugh. I can't believe how time flies. We haven't decided if we are going to stay overnight somewhere or not, but Apollo is definitely coming along. He loves the water, so I am thinking about going to Fiesta Island down in San Diego again. Mission Bay provides the perfect place for a giant dog to swim!

Our next vacation plan is a biking trip to Mammoth Mountain during 4th of July weekend. During the summer months, the ski lift will take you and your bike up and you can ride various trails down. From what we have heard, they have a great mountain bike park. We are going to bring our cross country bikes and a downhill bike. I am really excited :)

The third trip isn't until October. We are flying to Florida to see the Mr.'s best friend, his wife and their two little boys. I am sure baby Troy has grown so much! We are going to spend a week there, relaxing by the pool, and possibly going to Orlando to the theme parks.

Then in November, one of my closest girlfriend's is getting married and I am a bridesmaid in her wedding. My first time being a bridesmaid, yay! I am so excited for them. Hopefully I will be sporting a baby bump in my BM dress ;) A girl can hope!

Lots of exciting stuff coming up! I love having things to look forward to, despite this infertility stuff.

xoxo,
Mrs. B

Ahhh! All done!

The Mr. and I are all done with our fertility testing! Yay! I had my pelvic ultrasound today to look at my uterus and ovaries, and that was the last one. Those results should arrive at my doctor's office in one to two business days. I am relieved to have all of that out of the way. Next up, wait some more for my referral to be approved and schedule an appointment with the RE. Fingers crossed they aren't booked out too far.

I am mountain biking my little heart out for now. For the first time since we started riding, I got very sad thinking about not being able to ride while pregnant. I am officially addicted :)

"The course of life is unpredictable... no one can write his autobiography in advance." Abraham Joshua Heschel

xoxo,

Mrs. B

Oops

I was so worked up about the HSG that I completely missed the pelvic ultrasound on my rx. The way the orders were typed up didn't help either. Oops. Thankfully the same place can get me in on Tuesday afternoon. Hopefully my ovaries look good too :)

xoxo,
Mrs. B

Music Friday - DEV

In the Dark by DEV

Happy Friday everyone :)

xoxo,

Mrs. B

HSG is done!

What a piece of cake! I was so worked up and nervous for nothing! It was a bit uncomfortable, but it was over in a few minutes. The doctor said my uterus looks normal and my tubes are clear. Yay! And I even got a Starbucks gift card because they kept me waiting for 20 extra minutes {I didn't even complain, they just offered!} Everyone was really nice.

Now I am waiting for the referral to the RE. It's pending at the moment. I hope it is approved soon so I can schedule my first appointment. Both the Mr. and I are more than ready to get a plan in place!

xoxo,
Mrs. B

Music Friday - Beyonce

On to cycle 14. This song lifted my spirits this morning :) Girl power!!!

Run The World (Girls) by Beyonce

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

xoxo,

Mrs. B

Progesterone Results

I called my OB and, as usual, had to pull teeth to get my results. All I wanted was one number, sheesh! I can't wait to move over to an RE, where they actually care about someone struggling to get pregnant. Stupid, stupid HMO insurance.

My 7dpo progesterone was 15.2, well above what they want to see in a natural cycle. Good news, I can sustain a pregnancy. Now we just need to figure out how to get me pregnant. HSG is scheduled for June 9th. Aunt Flow should be here by Friday at the latest. That's all for now, folks.