Friday, December 9, 2011

IF: Always a part of us

Nick and I talk on gchat while at work. Yesterday he sent me a message that said "I have some news. Are you sitting down?" Of course I panicked. I frantically asked him what happened. He told me that a good friend of ours' new girlfriend is pregnant.

Our friend has never been married, he is almost 40 and he has never really wanted children. He was with a girl for 15 years and they never married or had kids. He has been dating this girl for just a few months. We have met her once. Let's just say she is not the brightest crayon in the box. She already has a one year old child, who was also an accidental pregnancy, with another guy. She had an IUD in this time. There's something around a 0.8% chance of getting pregnant with an IUD. They have only had sex just a handful of times, because she had "intimacy issues" since her first accidental pregnancy.

Our initial reaction is shock. Holy crap, he's going to have a baby?!?! Weird. Next is that awful, shitty feeling: how does that happen when others of us who are ready for children have to wait years, inject ourselves with meds that make us feel like crap, and spend nearly $7,000 in treatments just to have our chance at being parents? That's when I realized that, no matter if I am pregnant or not, our IF journey will always be with us. I am sure the pain and frustration will dissipate with time, but we won't ever forget what we went through to get here.



  1. You are right. From my experience, it is something that will always be with you. And, by the way. . .CONGRATS!

  2. I think that's one of the worst things about infertility--the fact that you're never quite "recovered," you're just always recovering. I thought a BFP would cure it, but it doesn't really. Of course, I'm thrilled to be on this side of the fence, but I don't think I'll ever forget where I came from. By the way, congratulations on 7 weeks!