Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Migraine Hell

I didn't blog about our first IUI, except that it failed, but it was a miserable cycle for me. I had two migraines early on and I threw up all night with the first one. It was so bad. Then I had another one a few days before my period started, and most recently had one from Sunday afternoon up until yesterday. Phew. Thank goodness that I am okay today, just a mild "hangover headache", as the migraine peeps refer to it. I have an amazing appreciation for every moment without a migraine. Perspective can do so much for your outlook on life, on a day-to-day basis.

It's frustrating to be in so much pain, with no relief but time and sleep. And sometimes even those don't help and I push through another miserable day. Those days are my lowest days. They are absolutely the worst moments of my life. They are debilitating - I can't think, I can't talk, I can't enjoy my family, I can't cook or eat... I cannot function. There are even moments where I just want to die, it's so bad. I know that is an extreme statement and I do not want to die, but those thoughts can cross your mind in moments of desperation.

I have always suspected my hormones are what drive these headaches, and it's more and more obvious that they are the cause. I have been tracking them and they always fall on days where my cycle is changing and I am sure different hormones are surging or dropping off. I wish I knew exactly which hormones so I can try to do something about it. Perhaps after I am done having babies, I can do more testing and see if there are any hormone related treatments. For now, it sucks. I can't do anything to prevent them, except get pregnant again. I didn't have a single migraine when I was pregnant with Grayson. I wonder if they are also affecting my fertility. All of my blood work comes back fine, but maybe there is something else that is being missed. Let's just say I am really, really looking forward to being pregnant again for more than one reason :)


1 comment:

  1. Ugh, migraines are the worst! I'm really sorry. I have also wondered about how tey relate to hormones... I actually get them worse when I'm pregnant, but (so far) only in the first and maybe very early second tri. I hope you get pregnant and have a little break from them (and a baby, of course!!) I'm really sorry about your first IUI... Sending lots of vibes for a successful second!