Semen Analysis Fail

Oh man. What a frustrating morning I just had. The Mr.'s semen analysis was scheduled for this morning, but it didn't happen. Warning: I sound like a big baby in this story. I think it's the hormones + my control freak, type A personality. 

Mr. B's doctor office gave me a lab slip for his SA a few weeks ago. I called the first lab listed on the sheet that processes SA's, a stat lab close by our house. Perfect. They told me they no longer process them there, so I called the next office on the list and they told me they no longer do them either. They did offer to transfer me to the Laguna Hills office, the last lab on the list that processes SA's. Or so I thought. I connected to a very nice woman, gave her all of our information and wrote down all the specific instructions. She called Mr. B the following Monday to schedule an appointment for me to drop off the specimen at 7:30am on 3/31/11. I arrived five minutes early and climbed the stairs to the 4th floor.

I signed in and the receptionist asked me for the lab slip. I handed it over, she reviewed the requested testing and told me that they do not do semen analysis processing here. My heart dropped. What?!?! That's impossible! I talked to someone here and made an appointment! I confirmed it was in Laguna Hills! She pulled out a much newer list of labs that work with our insurance and only ONE, yes one single lab, does SA's in all of Orange County. It's several cities away in commute traffic and I have 30 minutes until the specimen is a waste. I called that lab to see if we had an appointment there, if I made some kind of mistake. The lady didn't understand what I was asking. To be honest, she was a clueless idiot and I started to get irritated. So I asked her to just give me directions so I can get there as quickly as possible. She then tells me that they don't do SA's until 10am, so there is no one there to process it. Greeeeeaaaaaaaaat.

I drive to my office, crying because I am angry at the lab and sad that the Mr. is going to have to do this again. I have a phone number that I took down when I talked to the "Laguna Hills lab", so I Googled it to find out the mystery place we had an appointment with. Turns out, it's an infertility clinic in Laguna Hills. Hmmmm. How did that happen?! Ah ha! The shitty lab is at fault! I was transferred from that second lab to the "Laguna Hills location." No one told me they were sending me to a clinic, completely unrelated to this lab group. And of course the clinic thought I had called them directly, so they had no idea that I thought they were the lab. I called the infertility clinic and sure enough they had our 7:30 appointment. Thank you Google :) The clinic was SUPER nice, so I apologized that we missed the appointment and explained why. She told me that they can process the semen analysis there and send the bill through the lab & our insurance. She assured me that she would remind her office and let the lab know to provide more information next time. She also double checked the lab slip because she didn't want us to have any more hassles. She was soooo nice! Her help and kindness really made a difference in my entire day.

This is all such an adventure. The good news is that we are re-scheduled for Monday morning, with the super nice clinic in Laguna Hills. The kicker? This clinic is literally 200 feet away from the Laguna Hills lab I mistakenly was standing in at 7:30am. If only I had figured out the mystery sooner ;)

xoxo,
Mrs. B