Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Just Waiting

Waiting. Infertility involves lots of it. I think I've become more patient these past four years, and I am the complete opposite of patient. I think a lot of that stems from my control freak personality. I have a hard time when I can't do anything about it. And in the case of Infertility, I have absolutely no control. If this journey has taught me anything, it's taught me that sometimes you have to let go and just let things happen as they will.

I am excited to start acupuncture again. We are still on our treatment break, but I should be starting a new cycle next week. I am terrified of the migraines that will likely accompany the new cycle. I am also terrified about this being our last chance to get pregnant with an IUI. This is our 4th one, and while we could choose to do more IUI's, it's probably not the best choice for us. I haven't been responding as well either, and it's scary to think about my response continually getting worse as time goes on. After three tries, it's advised to move on to something else, and because we are doing the strongest stimming meds with IUI, that next step would be IVF. Or nothing. Or adoption. Really the next step is what we choose for it to be. So yeah. I am really scared. In the meantime, I am reading The Pursuit of Family. I am enjoying it so far. I love to read so I don't know why it's taken me so long to read a book about Infertility.

It feels like G learns something new every day. He is a lot of fun at 17 months old. He also never stops moving so life is go, go, go right now. My job is keeping me busy and I am working with management on a new bonus structure, so that is exciting. Nick and I have been working on some new house projects. We are putting in new ceiling fans, we are doing a new vanity with double sinks and new mirrors in our master bathroom, Nick is building a BBQ island in the backyard, and we are finishing the exterior work with new paint for the house. We love to stay busy :) We are looking forward to a family vacation with my parents, my sister and her boyfriend, and my aunt and two cousins in April. We are staying in a beach front house on the Big Island in Hawaii.

Things have been good, and I've been especially appreciative of that lately. I have taken time each day to look around and be thankful for the things I have. Life is too short to wish the days away.


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