A quick update

IUI #4 is done. Dr. A upped my Follistim dose pretty high so I had a good response. Not as crazy as Grayson's cycle, but good. I am still going to acupuncture, which I am loving, but now it's just a waiting game. How do I feel? Eh. Not very hopeful. I am trying hard to be more hopeful, but it's tough.

The last few days I have done a lot of thinking {what's new, right?} It's crazy to look back at all we have done. Giving myself shots month after month, spending WAY too much time at my RE's office and being poked and prodded more than I would like. All the medications and hormones give me mood swings, they give me aches and pains and nausea, and some of them are just icky. It's intense and, at times, overwhelming. I go about my day-to-day like I always do, but every once in a while I stop and think about all of it. Even with all that's involved, I have never given a second thought to what we are doing. I just do it. I am determined to have children, at least two of them, and I will do whatever I have to to have a chance at that. But dang, what a process. Long gone are the days of "let's have sex and get pregnant!" The good thing is that I have mourned the loss of that chance and moved on. This is our normal now.

My little man turned 18 months yesterday! Crazy how time flies. I'll have his 18 month post up this weekend. I am waiting for his doctor appointment on Friday to get his official stats.

xoxo,

Megan

Neurologist Appointment

I had a neurologist appointment yesterday for my migraines. I know they are caused by my hormones, but I wanted to see a doctor for new ideas on pain management, especially after ending up in the ER again back in early December. They definitely seem worse when coming off a failed cycle and I stop medications, like the progesterone. Which makes total sense because hormonal levels are dropping or spiking and that's the cause of my migraines. It also means that this break cycle turned out to be a wonderful break from those awful headaches. I didn't have a single one! Woohoo!

We discussed trying some supplements; magnesium, riboflavin and the herb Butterbur, have shown some relief to migraine patients, when taken daily. I have to check with Dr. A before taking these while cycling, but it's definitely something I will try once I am done having kids. I would much rather take daily supplements than take pain medications and/or go to the ER. For now, I have Toradol for the pain and Reglan for both migraine relief and nausea/gastric upset relief. The Toradol doesn't always work, but it seems to help. However, I haven't tried the two meds combined before, so hopefully they do the trick the next time I need it. They are both safe to take while trying to get pregnant too.

Fingers crossed for no migraines this next cycle!  CD1 is today, so off we go with IUI #4.

p.s. I had to laugh... I talked to my neurologist about our Infertility during my visit. You know what he tells me? "I bet you will get pregnant if you just relax." Really?! The old cliche, from a doctor, of all people. Thanks bud. I hadn't thought of that. ::roll eyes::

xoxo,
Megan

Just Waiting

Waiting. Infertility involves lots of it. I think I've become more patient these past four years, and I am the complete opposite of patient. I think a lot of that stems from my control freak personality. I have a hard time when I can't do anything about it. And in the case of Infertility, I have absolutely no control. If this journey has taught me anything, it's taught me that sometimes you have to let go and just let things happen as they will.

I am excited to start acupuncture again. We are still on our treatment break, but I should be starting a new cycle next week. I am terrified of the migraines that will likely accompany the new cycle. I am also terrified about this being our last chance to get pregnant with an IUI. This is our 4th one, and while we could choose to do more IUI's, it's probably not the best choice for us. I haven't been responding as well either, and it's scary to think about my response continually getting worse as time goes on. After three tries, it's advised to move on to something else, and because we are doing the strongest stimming meds with IUI, that next step would be IVF. Or nothing. Or adoption. Really the next step is what we choose for it to be. So yeah. I am really scared. In the meantime, I am reading The Pursuit of Family. I am enjoying it so far. I love to read so I don't know why it's taken me so long to read a book about Infertility.

It feels like G learns something new every day. He is a lot of fun at 17 months old. He also never stops moving so life is go, go, go right now. My job is keeping me busy and I am working with management on a new bonus structure, so that is exciting. Nick and I have been working on some new house projects. We are putting in new ceiling fans, we are doing a new vanity with double sinks and new mirrors in our master bathroom, Nick is building a BBQ island in the backyard, and we are finishing the exterior work with new paint for the house. We love to stay busy :) We are looking forward to a family vacation with my parents, my sister and her boyfriend, and my aunt and two cousins in April. We are staying in a beach front house on the Big Island in Hawaii.

Things have been good, and I've been especially appreciative of that lately. I have taken time each day to look around and be thankful for the things I have. Life is too short to wish the days away.

xoxo,
Megan

Happy 2014

A new year! It's crazy how time seems to move faster and faster as I age. We had a wonderful Christmas and New Years. We went to our usual spot for Christmas Eve dinner. Grayson got lots of gifts. We traveled to my family's ranch in Ojai. We spent lots of time together. It was perfect... and it was so hard to go back to work after 12 days off.