Life after our BFP

Time feels like it's slowing down, even though my job is crazy. I can't wait to see Baby B again! Monday is our next ultrasound, at 6 weeks. We may or may not be able to see a heartbeat then. I think seeing that will help ease my worry. I am feeling cramps randomly throughout the day and I always think the worst. Stupid IF. I don't think I will ever be able to completely stop worrying.

Nick created a G.mail account for baby. It's essentially a digital baby book. Pretty cool. Grandma and Grandpa have already sent emails. I was very emotional reading what they wrote. This baby will be loved beyond measure. My Dad has had a tough time lately and it's been hard to know how to help him. We have had some rough patches in our relationship. At Thanksgiving, I could tell that he was excited about this baby. I sent him the first ultrasound photo and shortly after he sent me a text that he loves me and is so happy. It warmed my heart to know it is giving him something to be excited about.

I bought several onesies - a long time ago - that I was originally going to use to announce and then that idea flew out the door when I saw those two lines for the first time, ha! However, we do get to surprise my Grandma, aunt and two cousins. There is a Christmas block party being hosted at their ranch in a few weeks, and Nick and I are going. We are bringing the "I love my Great Grandma" onesie and will hand it to her, with cameras ready. We want to get the reaction caught on film :) It will be her first great grandchild and will hopefully bring joy to the family following my Grandpa's sudden passing a year and a half ago. It makes me very sad that this baby won't ever meet him. I will make sure they know him. He was an amazing man.

When I picked up my new prenatals, I just had to browse the baby section. I found a cute gender neutral pack of onesies and I had to buy it. They are for our baby. I can't believe I can say that. After all the struggle, tears, worries, and huge doubts, we finally have our baby. I can't believe a little human is growing inside of me right now!!! Ahhhhh! I have never felt so much joy as I do right now. We still have lots of friends to tell and extended family too, so I have to contain my excitement.

Sending good thoughts to those cycling or in the two week wait. I am always thinking of you.

xoxo,
Megan

5 weeks

Our first glimpse at baby. Apparently we look like a black dot at 5 weeks :)

How far along: 5 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: None
How big is Baby: Baby is the size of a sesame seed.

Sleep: I used to sleep a solid 8 hours every night. Not so much now. I wake up 3 to 4 times feeling uncomfortable.

Movement: Not yet.

Food cravings: All I want is red meat.

Gender: We have a while before we will know.

Symptoms: Very sore boobs. Fatigue. Frequent bathroom trips. I went on a little hike the other day and almost peed my pants.

Best moment this week: Sharing the news with our immediate families and each of our best friends :)

xoxo,
Megan

Music Friday {a day late} - Florence and The Machine

My bestest friend told me that she thought of me when she heard this song.
This is for you Brooke <3

All This and Heaven Too by Florence and The Machine

xoxo,

Megan

Beta #3

Today's level was 822. My RE wants one more beta on Sunday. It seems like most other office's just do two or three, so of course I worry when they want me to do four. The nurse said they will schedule the first ultrasound for Monday. Nick and I are very excited for that!

xoxo,
Megan

So much to be thankful for.

Today I am thankful for my husband, both of our families, our amazing friends, our house, the delicious food we are going to eat today, all of my e-friends and our little poppy seed, baby B. My thoughts are with everyone that is still struggling. I never stop rooting for you.

xoxo,
Megan

Beta #2

Beta #2 was 301. They just want to see it double, so this is great news. Beta #3 will be Friday, and the nurse said they usually do the first ultrasound a week from my first beta. This is still so surreal.

I had my favorite nurse again today. She is the absolute best at drawing blood. She gave me a packet with commonly asked questions about the first trimester. I will stay with my RE until 12 weeks, and will have weekly ultrasounds and blood work. I had no idea I would be in that often! They said we can bring a DVD+RW to record the ultrasounds too. How cool.

I also had a very pleasant surprise when I was checking out. I pulled out my Visa to pay for my blood work and she said nope, your insurance pays now. Sweet!!! Kind of annoying that they aren't there when we need help, but whatever. We have racked up almost $7,000 in costs so I was thrilled to hear that, and so was Nick when I told him :)

Thank you all for the comments. They make me smile. I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving.

xoxo,
Megan

Beta #1

I love my RE office. I had my blood drawn at 7:30am and the nurse called me at 11am with the results. She was so sweet to not keep me waiting all day. I think I am going to take them all some candy and a thank you card.

hCG was 125 and progesterone was 37. Ohmygosh, I am really pregnant. This is really happening.

My Mom gave this to me today. Love.

xoxo,
Megan

Our lives are changed forever

In the best way possible :) I'm pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot believe it. We are both in complete shock.

The short story:
I started testing Friday, November 18th at 11dpo, and I saw a second line for the first time ever. I have been getting positive tests since then. Beta #1 is today.

The long story, of things I don't want to forget about that day:
When I took the first test, I was home alone on a Friday afternoon. I don't know what made me test. I was planning to the next morning, but I just couldn't wait. I quickly looked at the test, didn't see a second line and promptly dumped the pee out of the cup. I looked again and there was something there. I really couldn't believe it. I just stared and then started shaking. I burst into happy tears and called Nick. Of course he couldn't believe it and told me to test ten more times {and I couldn't because I dumped the pee, ha!}. He told me he was heading home from work right away, and asked me to email him a photo of the test. Can you tell how shocked he was too?!

I called all the people I promised I would if this moment ever happened. My Mom was first. I was crying and shaking when I told her. She exclaimed "oh my God" for probably 15 minutes straight :) She was really excited. She told me she would have my Dad call me since he was at work. Then I called my sister. Her and I had just talked hours earlier about when I was going to test and how nervous we were to find out if this worked. I called her while she was trying on clothes. She burst into happy tears right along with me. We both realized that was the only time we can remember crying for something happy. I called my best friend and she text me back that she was working. I told her to just call me when she's off. That freaked her out! She was so worried something was wrong. When she called, I told her the news and we laughed and cried and talked about the future. She kept me on the phone when she told her boyfriend and I heard him cheering in the background, so excited. That moved me to tears. I love those two so much. It's so amazing how wonderful and supportive our family and friends have been. Nick and I called his parents together and they were super excited too, and they rarely get that way. Both his Dad and Mom are planning all kinds of things for this baby already. I feel so filled with love. It's amazing.

I have experienced every emotion these past several days; excitement for what's to come, fear for what I know can still happen, and guilt after telling my IF friends. It's still very early, but I keep telling myself that "today, I am pregnant."

Thank you again to everyone who has been so wonderful and supportive. I love you all.

xoxo,
Megan

Music Friday - LMFAO

I love this song! It always makes me laugh and makes me want to dance :)

Sexy and I Know It by LMFAO

xoxo,

Mrs. B

Anticipation

The anticipation of testing this cycle is killing me! Stupid progesterone makes me feel pregnant. ::sigh:: I want to know and I don't want to know.

To keep myself distracted, I am going shopping for some new clothes today. Tonight we are going to our favorite place, Disneyland, with three other couples who have passes.

Happy weekend everyone :)

xoxo,
Mrs. B

I survived!

The wedding was beautiful and wonderful, and I loved being a part of it :) My progesterone and it's side effects didn't interfere, except a tiny bout of nausea when I was standing up at the altar. I had a mini anxiety attack that I would have to run away to throw up hahaha. I had a lot of fun, I danced with friends and miraculously got Nick on the dance floor with me too :)

We all forgot to take pictures {oops}, so this is it. Thank goodness for professional photographers!

Nick and I

And with my beautiful sister :)

xoxo,
Mrs. B

Preconception Mompetition

Edited for clarification: I don't think any of us are in competition over IF. That's certainly something no one wants to "win." But some of the lines in this video had me laughing so hard!

Hilarious! Enjoy :)

xoxo,

Megan

{Crustless} Pumpkin Cheesecake Bars

I used this recipe from All Recipes.com, but I did not do a crust. I would have but I didn't have any graham crackers in the house and I really wanted to use up the cream cheese I had in the frig. I also made my own whipped cream for a topping. These are really good, really rich and perfect for the Fall season.

Mine is messy because I am impatient and didn't let it cool in the frig for the full 3 hours :)

For the whipped cream: Whip one cup heavy cream. I did 2 cups, but that was way too much! Add 1/4 tsp vanilla. Add sifted powdered sugar until desired sweetness.

Okay, time to start focusing my "new recipe thing" on healthy dinners. The weight is creeping back on and I must stop it before I have a repeat of last year :|

xoxo,
Mrs. B

Cream Cheese & Herb Stuffed Chicken

I used this recipe, but I used chicken breast tenders because that's what I had. I used Panko bread crumbs and for the herbs I chopped fresh sage from our garden. I served with a side of rice. It was delicious.

I have some fun recipes planned this week too :)

xoxo,
Mrs. B

Progesterone

Wow, this stuff sucks! I haven't ever been on it because my levels were always fine. I guess my RE orders them regardless for injects cycles.

It's not just the gross leakage from the suppository. It's the nausea, the frequent urination, super sore boobs, and the insomnia. Yesterday I had a lunch meeting at a Mexican food place and I ordered the fish tacos. I always eat fish tacos, and I'm not a picky eater. I took one bite and almost threw up. I had to apologize and ask for chicken tacos instead. I felt so bad. I always sleep a solid 8 hours. Not anymore. I am up to pee from 2am to 3am, and the other morning I woke up a few hours early to a painful pit in my stomach.

It sounds like they are preparing me for pregnancy, huh?! Of course I won't be annoyed when they are real symptoms. I know this is just a little bump in the road. One of my best friends is getting married this Friday, and I am in the wedding. I am so excited. Hopefully I make it through the night!

xoxo,
Megan

Avalanche Bars & Campfire Stew

Dessert first. Typical of me :)

Avalanche Bars

I found a picture of these delicious treats on Pinterest, which linked me to Cookies and Cups' recipe. They were super easy and quick to make. And really delicious! I have a feeling they will be gone by tomorrow hehehe.

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Switching to dinner... it's not a new recipe to me, but I thought I would share with everyone. This is my Mom's Campfire Stew. It's super easy to make, which is perfect for a cooking newb like me.

Campfire Stew- serving size: 1
1 carrot
1 potato
1/2 lb. ground beef
Sliver of butter
Salt & Pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350. Chop carrot and peeled potato. Place in the center of a sheet of tin foil. Add 1/2 lb beef. Season with salt, pepper and a sliver of butter. Wrap tin foil and seal the ends. Place on a baking sheet and bake for 1 hour. Enjoy!

xoxo,
Megan

Come on, number four!

IUI #4 is officially done. Thank goodness for that! I am still very sore from all those follies. I have never been so uncomfortable. I really hope this works. Nick and I did decide that if it doesn't, we will talk to Dr. A about doing one more injects cycle in December. It makes sense since we have lots of Follistim leftover and we won't do IVF until we have the new insurance in January. We'll see if Dr. A agrees, if we get to that point ;)

xoxo,
Megan

Trying New Recipes

Time to switch topics to food. I love food, as I have mentioned many times, and we love to try new things. I am making a serious effort to start cooking more. I enjoy it, it saves money and keeps us healthy. To encourage that habit, I am going to set a goal to try one to two new recipes each week. Sharing here keeps me accountable. I have a few meals and desserts that I know well and make often, but I want to expand my skills :)

I started today with Crock Pot Turkey White Bean Pumpkin Chili. We received a slow cooker as a wedding gift and we've never used it, until today. I got the recipe from Skinnytaste. We served ours with a dollop of light sour cream, sprinkled with cheese and with a side of low fat blue corn tortilla chips from Trader Joes. It was delicious!

xoxo,
Megan

CD10 Update

I was so nervous this morning, but I didn't get canceled!!!! I am so relieved! I love my nurses. They were so sweet to me while I was stressing out before the ultrasound. They called Dr. A to get confirmation and he remembered me. He said to go ahead and trigger me, but to use 1mg of Lupron instead of my usual Novarel so only one or two of the follicles will ovulate. I had four on the right: one at 24mm, two at 19mm and one at 18mm. I had three on the left: one at 19mm and two at 18mm. My lining was 10.1mm.

IUI #4 is scheduled for tomorrow, and probably another on Monday.

xoxo,
Megan

Music Friday - Emmy Rossum

Slow Me Down by Emmy Rossum

Darn Follies

Oh man. Dr. A just called and told me to lower my Follistim dose to 50 IU for today and tomorrow. My E2 level was 407. He said if there is more than two or three follies that he thinks will ovulate, then we would have to cancel. I am so incredibly upset at the thought of cancelling. I am trying not to freak out since we don't know yet, but gosh, my anxiety is through the roof. What a horrible feeling of wasted time, wasted injections, and thousands of wasted dollars.

Dear Follies, please don't screw this up. Thanks.

xoxo,
Megan

CD8 Update

I am really feeling these follies now! I had to ask for a print out of the measurements today because I couldn't remember them all LOL. On the right I have one 19mm, two 17mm and one 14 mm. On the left, I have two 17mm and one 16mm. My doctors don't seem concerned, so I am trying not to worry. My lining looked great at 8.8mm. I am scheduled to go back on Saturday. I am assuming I will be triggering then. Oh, and yesterday's E2 level was 200. There is some explanation of the E2 levels here, but basically you want to see 200 - 600 per mature follicle {18mm is considered mature} I will update with today's level this afternoon.

Thank you all for cheering us on. It means so much.

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." Leo Buscaglia

xoxo,
Megan

CD6 Update

Well, I am responding to the Follistim. After three days of 100 IU, I had around 6 measurable follies. One at 14mm and the others between 11 and 13mm. Dr. A lowered my dose to 75 IU and I go back on Thursday for monitoring. He said "you are responding really well, almost too well." I told him that kind of freaked me out, but he said he isn't worried. I am just scared of getting cancelled. He didn't give me my Estradiol (E2) level and I forgot to ask.

I will probably be updating here more frequently with this cycle. Sorry if I bore you with all the deets :) I just want to keep track of everything and blogging is the easiest way. I also set up a separate page with our detailed treatment history, including all costs. I can't wait for our new insurance in January! {of course I hope we won't need the IF coverage, but at least we know it's available}

xoxo,
Megan